Who can tell?

We've withdrawn Otter almost completely from the far-away daycare with the indoor slide. He goes tomorrow, and possibly not again after that. I am fighting my sadness on this one.

One of the artifacts of his short stay there is the photo they took at the daycare's children and families potluck a few weeks ago. They took the pic to put on their board of pics of all the kids' families. Understandably, with him leaving, they don't so much need the picture, so they put it in his cubby for us to take home.

While this reflects not at all on the daycare, this photo is quite possibly the least attractive picture of Otter I have ever seen, and it's not so great of me either. (G looks great as usual--but that's another discussion.) But Otter--gosh, he looks like his lips are swollen and reddish and honestly, he looks like a kid you'd be saying "What a great color that jacket is on him". (Not that those comments couldn't be true of a stunningly gorgeous kid, as well.)

Looking at Otter in this picture, I am struck with self-doubt. I think of him as quite obviously one of the world's most charming-looking children.

His grandparents certainly seem to agree; his paternal grandfather adds to that conviction a perpetual belief that Otter's every new skill and movement is a sign that he is, clearly, some sort of child prodigy. It's truly kind of cute to see someone who is even more gonzo for your child than you are; it gives you the illusion that you yourself are, relatively speaking, aware of your child's limitations and lack of perpetual "prodigyness." That's not to rule out that Otter might be especially good at something eventually; it's just clear to me and G that standing up, smiling, and recognizing people, etc, are not skills unique to our child. (Here I am gently exaggerating his grampy's fond hopes, but not all that much.)

But to return to the photo. Looking at this photo, I think to myself: every parent thinks their kid is amazing, right, including thinking the kid is attractive. I've seen posts online from parents saying things like "my sister said my kid 'isn't so unattractive now'; but look at these pics: my kid was always lovely."

Uhmm, no. Some babies and toddlers look a bit disproportionate. Truly, I sometimes see babies in the market and think: "whoa! Thank goodness kids grown into their heads and their features become more proportionate." And baldness isn't a great look for all kids. They don't all have Sinead O'Connor's well-shaped head.

So, logically, if THOSE parents don't think that their children are still growing into displaying their inner charm in a more outward way, what's to say that Otter's appearance isn't just as overrated by me? Yes, people in the market smile at him, but he's a smiley flirty little dude.

And he's a towheaded blue-eyed white boy dressed in clean and quite nice clothes (thanks to his cousins' hand-me-downs and grandparents' generosity and my eBay scavenging). Towheads just attract some big time attention; truly they do. (In some future post, we can discuss--or I can pontificate--about the not-so-subtle racism of our cultural ideals of beauty.) When Otter was small we'd have to put a hat on him to be able to take him out in public and prevent strangers from touching him. With the hat on, no one noticed him much. Really.

I know his grandparents won't quite believe it, but I'm thinking it's maybe all the hair. Maybe G and I are just overfond and strangers are just towhead-blinded and no one will tell us he's not as stunning as we think.

If you've met Otter and feel I'm on to something, don't feel you have to be first in line to email and say so. I'm thinking we can go a while longer being fondly hallucinatory that he's a peach of a child.