Okay, babies are boring, but...

I should probably also say, that while I don't think they're interesting, being a new parent does make you kind of--well, nuts. It does distort your judgement, a bit.

As evidence, I offer this story of my dad as a new parent: my new parent. After my mom and dad adopted me, and when I was still only a few weeks old, my dad would go in to work with sheafs of pictures of me to show people, and would invite people to the house to meet me.

One of his coworkers, one without any children of his own at the time (and a man who was later one of my high school French teachers), stopped by and stayed a polite amount of time, making appropriate admiring remarks.

When he went to leave, my dad said, in all seriousness, "You can't leave! You haven't heard her burp yet."



Family lore doesn't say whether or not he stayed to wait for my burping demonstration.

The new baby

On the plus side, I'm over 31 weeks pregnant now. This baby is doing frequent calisthenics, and often my whole stomach visibly jumps as he appears to be seeking to strech out the walls of his space by brute force. Unfortunately as I am a short plump person, the baby has no place to go but straight out in front. I look as if I'm having twins, or giving birth tomorrow. No one who sees me doubts that I'm pregnant. Many seem to doubt that I have eight more weeks to go.

Otter has even more doubt than that. He seems to be unable to connect the baby in there with the idea of a baby out here in the world. I've told him that the baby will come out of Mama's tummy, and cry and sleep and poop and pee a lot, and cry a lot more, and that the baby will live with us in, as Otter calls it, "the blue HOUSE." I've told him the baby will need a lot of attention. I've told him the baby will be boring in the beginning.

Sorry if I offend anyone, but babies ARE boring. I mean, I'll love this kid and want to gaze at him adoringly, but that doens't haze my mind enough to think he'll be actually interesting or exciting in any real, extended sense until he's three, four, maybe five or six months old. Otter is interesting to me; my four year old nephew is interesting. They can interact with you. A five week old can't do much but voice a need (by crying) and then give you a funny smile and go back to sleep. Cute, but not scintillatingly fascinating.

I suspect Otter will provide us with much interesting drama to make up for the baby's lack of it. I'm guessing the surprise of an actual baby will not be a wholly happy one for Otter, who, on some days, insists that the baby is in HIS tummy.

Busy busy busy

Between Otter's second birthday, my dissertation work, and a slew of illness: cold, cough, headaches etc (all of us), one case of strep throat (G), one case of conjunctivitis (Otter), and one case of third-trimester fatigue (me), I haven't blogged much. Many apologies.

So here's a mini-update: Otter used to say something that sounded like sofa, but has now begun saying "foosta" instead. And I've goten sucked in, because it's such a funny word. So I too say foosta.

If I have many more kids, I'll start sounding like someone with a serious language issue.